9 to 5, sort of

I returned to work last week and it is horrible. My job isn't horrible, but leaving Grady is. My heart hurts every morning when I drive in. And when I drive home I feel like I can't get to him fast enough. I miss our mornings together. He is so stinking cute in the mornings! I'm going to give it at least a month before I make any decisions about staying home, but I'm starting to rethink this whole working thing. But how do you choose between going to work or staying home? If I work I can give Grady a better life. But if I stay home he gets me all of the time. I will say this though - when I am with Grady its so special and he gets the very best of my attention. When I was on maternity leave I would get distracted by the house being a mess or running errands. When I am off work, all I want to do is squeeze my little man and play with him. I am also considering working for now, but when he goes to school staying home. I hate this decision!

I'll tell you what is making the decision to  go to work even harder is my schedule. So I wake up at 4:30 am and get myself ready, then wake Grady up at 5:00 am, change and feed him and get him in the carseat to drop him off at Katie's at 6:00 a.m. - all of this so that I can make it to Bethesda by 7:00 a.m. But wait, that is only on Tuesday and Friday. Mondays I work from home from 5:00 to 9:00 a.m. and have the rest of the day off (yay!). Wednesdays I leave my house at 5:00 a.m. to be at work by 6:00 a.m. so Dave has Grady duty. Finally, Lauren watches Grady and Ryan at our house on Thursdays so I work 5:00 - 7:00 am until Lauren arrives and then I work 9:00 - 3:00 at the office. Confused? Good, so am I!

Decisions, decisions...

Courtney